Ask Krys: Broken Boundaries and Trust

Krys Ghislaine
4 min readApr 9, 2024

E-mail Bag: Question 9 A Letter to My Past Self

Ask Krys Contact Info (Photo by Kgb)

Dear Krys,

I find myself in a situation where my partner has broken one of the boundaries that we put in place. I feel hurt, and betrayed. It’s not the first time he has broken my trust, but I truly thought that we had gotten past this, and that he would respect the terms that I thought we had both agreed upon. For clarity, we are in an open relationship and I asked that he tell me when he sleeps with other people. Yesterday, I found a condom wrapper behind the bed, and when I confronted him about it, he told me it was no big deal, and he just hadn’t gotten around to telling me yet.


A Lady Who is Writing This Letter for Her Past Self

Dear Past Self,

Full disclosure, this is a letter that I am writing to my former self. It is the first Ask Krys that I have written to myself, and one that I wished I had written so very long ago to someone with an outside perspective. But I cannot go back! All I can do is hopefully share some perspective that I have learned, perhaps encouraging just one person out there to ask the question instead of well, ignoring the situation.

I have long held the stance that if your boundary or ground rule is too…