Ask Krys: New Relationship Energy (NRE)

Krys Ghislaine
4 min readNov 28, 2023

The Polyamory Edition

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E-mail Bag: Question 8 Is it NRE or True Feelings?

Dear Krys,

At what point in a poly connection (in this case, one outside the nesting/anchor live-in partner) do you feel it’s safe to say NRE has evolved past that into true feelings? I’m fairly new to poly while my wife has been for a long time, and I’m 4 and a half months into a newer relationship and we are both absolutely enamoured with each other. I definitely have strong feelings for this woman but worry it’s still maybe NRE at play. Maybe you previously wrote about this and I’ve failed to look back, but given your move back towards monogamy, maybe you have some updates thoughts?



Dear NRE,

You have asked the age old question, do we have New Relationship Energy (NRE) or are these true feelings, and you are not the first nor the last to do so. Feelings are such pesky little beasts. How can a person ever know if they are real or not, especially with the added bonus of being in a polyamorous relationship?

First things first, New Relationship Energy, for those who don’t know is a way of describing those butterfly feelings that a person gets when they are dating someone new, which…