Breakups Suck: But Please Do It Anyways!
We have all sorts of do’s and don't s when it comes to dating. Some are personal choices born out of trial and error, others are the clichés of our world like “don’t sleep with someone on the first date”. There are plenty of blogs and articles that teach how to discuss safety on first dates. And most of us have no qualms asking our dearest people for advice on what to wear, and where to go on a first date. But what we as a society don’t talk about is the end. No, I don’t mean the whole do you kiss with an open mouth or not at the end of an evening. I mean, talking about the end of a relationship. And that is a major oversight, because no matter what, the end of a date or relationship is the only guarantee in life. Nothing lasts forever, and everyone dies, thus there will always be heartbreak. Now that we have that glaring reality out of the way, let us delve into the things so many of us are terrified of, breakups!
Breakups Are Common
First things first, we need to agree that breakups are the most common outcome when people date. Very rarely do relationships work. This isn’t cynicism, rather simple math. Look at how many people you have dated in your life, compared to the happily ever afters. The numbers are definitely one sided. Now though, I want you to think about each of those dates or relationships, and really ask yourself if each and every one got closure. This, is the main issue, because what we are seeing is the hard truth that people will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid pain, and thereby avoid closure.
Breakups are OK!
Actually, scratch that, breakups suck. But, not knowing what you want is actually a really great thing. Being able to articulate to a person that you may not know super well, that life got crazy busy, money stress came up, or you just realized you may not be ready to get into something serious is good. Self-awareness is just as attractive a trait as confidence. Confidence ebbs and flows, but knowing yourself, and asking for a pause, or voicing uncertainty should be the norm, and met with understanding and compassion. And with that, you actually have some fun, or continue to explore experiences with a little honesty instead of just a clear cut breakup…