Exploring the Complexities of Love

Krys Ghislaine
5 min readNov 9, 2023

This Time, Through Swinging?!

The Complexities of Love: Swinging Edition

In my last article about exploring the complexities of love, I asked a very important question: are you looking for love, sex, or both? In my quest to explore the relationship spectrum, I often found myself in places that were in essence, swinging events. And well, there is simply no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say the thing that will inevitably piss people off, with my sincerest Canadian I’m sorry: Swingers, simply do not exude love, and are at the bottom rung in my books for finding anything real or meaningful.

But I don’t think that is always a bad thing. The fact though does remain, swingers are looking for sex, and sex alone. That is not to say that they didn’t have love in their primary relationships, but that the strong impression is that they are looking for something outside of their love or commitment with swinging. And for the point of this article, what swingers are looking for simply did not, and does not, do it for me (pun fully intended).

Swinger Have Rules

The first thing I learned in my interaction with swingers is that there are a set of rules, and boundaries that each couple adheres to. While of course they vary from couple to couple the reality is these rules allow the couple to seek extra marital activity while preserving their unique relationship. Here are a few examples.

1)Never make swingers out of friends.

2)If you develop feelings for any of your play partners you must end things immediately.

3)Leave all drama at the door.

4)Do not ever gossip about other swingers.

Now if you know me at all, rules and labels just don’t really work with me, and how I perceive love. I need flexibility, to explore relationships on a one on one basis, or in other words, I am relationship fluid. The whole, don’t ever catch the feels mantra, really rubs me the wrong way. But, that is a key element to preserving what is so integral to many couples, and that is their primary bond.

Love and Swingers

There were many couples that I engaged with, who were deeply in love. And that love was reserved for each other, and each other…