Mismatched Relationships

Are We Doomed to Fail Being Raised with Outdated Relationship Models?

Krys Ghislaine
5 min readSep 15, 2020
Mismatched Relationships (Photo by E)

If you grew up anything like me, you were taught that relationships consist of one man for one woman, until death do you part. Your parents and/or church provided a living model of how relationships worked (or completely failed), and with your young eyes you took the good, bad, and ugly to heart. Using that frame-work you set out to find that mate who shared similar values and interests so you too could have the long-lasting companionship that your role models did. And if you’re reading this perhaps you also found out that this happy ever after was not all it was cracked up to be, and that mismatched relationships are everywhere, and more to the point inside your own home.

My grandparents in particular, tried to instill in all their offspring that the key to a successful marriage is compromise, hard work, and learning to accept the faults of each other no matter what (alcoholism, infidelity, sexual incompatibility etc.). While the lifelong marriage commitment may seem appealing, it does not come with a manual. And that cliché can just add to the hopelessness many of us have felt when we realize our needs are no longer being met. But what happens if the person you were when you went into the relationship, is not who you are right now, or who you think you should…