Mismatched Relationships

Are We Doomed to Fail Being Raised with Outdated Relationship Models?

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Mismatched Relationships (Photo by E)

First Things First: You Are Not Alone

If you are feeling the weight of a mismatched relationship, take a deep breath, and know that you are not alone. The situation is rarely as hopeless as it may seem, and there are thousands of couples right now feeling the exact same guilt, remorse, or even just that out of sync feeling you are. There is no shame in changing or growing as a human. And to that end it is time to start talking about relationships that are growing apart or changing. The stigma that you have done something wrong, or not worked hard enough, or any variety of negative sentiment helps no one.

Relationship Diversity Is Everywhere

The biggest tool we have right now, the internet is under utilized for the power of information it holds. The searches we enter for why we are unhappy in our relationships tend to follow the biases of how we were raised or how we wish things actually were. So, let us for a moment take a brief exploration of the diversity of relationships that actually exist out there, and all the different genders that can criss-cross within them (in a handy chart that in no way is complete, but rather created to get you thinking).

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Relationship Chart

The Taboo of it All

If so many of us are experiencing this, why is no one talking about it? Quite simply, changing, growing, or evolving apart in a relationship is not polite dinner conversation. And it is even worse to discuss with your partner. The fear of one or both parties feeling like a failure is real. Causing another person pain for no fault of their own is looked upon as cruel. Better to just pretend everything is fine, go back to the status quo, and bury that feeling your having that your relationship has changed. Right?

Krys is a sex positive blogger, podcaster, and a lover of craft beer. Read about her non-monogamous journey at breakingawayfrommonogamy.com.

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