Slut Shaming: My Experience in Non-Monogamy

Krys Ghislaine
7 min readJan 20, 2024

The Ugly Truth that Even I Didn’t Want to Talk About

Slut Shaming: Censored (photo by KGB)

Let us start this post with a simple definition: What is slut shaming?

Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. The term is used to reclaim the word slut and empower women and girls to have agency over their own sexuality.Wikipedia

Well, there goes that idea of a simple definition, and one of the many reasons I struggle with this term: it is one that is currently in a state of limbo, or more accurately a term of debate. Half of the people out there see it for the first half, which is the shaming of people (yes, I am including all people because anyone can be slut shamed, not just women) for being overly sexual, while the other half wants the term to be complimentary!

And this is exactly why I want to discuss the term further. I myself, am conflicted about the term considering all the slut shaming I have experienced, especially when it came to my experiences as a non-monogamous person. It is difficult for me to imagine a world where slut is reclaimed. Is it possible? Of course! Is it something we should strive for? Honestly, I don’t know, but let me share some of my takeaways with regards to slut shaming that I experienced in non-monogamy, so if nothing else, we can get some dialogue going. Or at the very least, I can get some things that have bothered me, off my chest.

Outside Opinions Aka The Dirty Stigma

When I first started opening up, about my “open” relationship, I expected and received a lot of back-lash from my family and friends. If I recall correctly, it was my mother who first got my mind thinking that being open was a bad thing, because people would inevitably label me a slut. I recoiled in horror, thinking, eww… I could never be a slut. That sounds terrible, shameful, and all the other things that I correlated with slutty behaviours. And she was only the first. Many of my friends worried about my sexual health, and how this would look to prospective employers, or any future family that I may want. Under the guise of wanting what’s best for me, they came…

--

--