Stress and Polyamory

And Some Tools That Have Actually Helped

Krys Ghislaine
9 min readFeb 9, 2024
Island Sunset (Photo by KGB)

First things first, I do not recognize when I am stressed. There it is, the statement that people in my inner circle are going, well of course you don’t! I have been through many different levels of trauma, and stress, that often I endured for years at a time, which I loving describe as my survival mode. The result was my tolerance for stress being above and beyond what is actually necessary for a good and wholesome life. That being said, having an inability to recognize reasonable stress levels, has taken me on some interesting journeys, which I am only now starting to realize and explore. And the first one that really hit home for me, was this strange connection I discovered between stress, and my desire to have a polyamorous relationship.

Walk, Don’t Run

In my early days of non-monogamous exploration, I was the student. My guide, for better or worse, in this relationship knew what he wanted. Myself, I was along for the ride, especially in those first few years. He would date, so I would date. He would sleep with someone new, so I would sleep with someone new. It was all moves and countermoves. Very, tit for tat if I am being completely honest with myself. I let him steer us, while I took a backseat, writing everything down that I saw and questioned in my blog. It was here I…