Because All Relationships End

Photo credit EB

We have all sorts of do’s and don't s when it comes to dating. Some are personal choices born out of trial and error, others are the clichés of our world like “don’t sleep with someone on the first date”. There are plenty of blogs and articles that teach how to discuss safety on first dates. And most of us have no qualms asking our dearest people for advice on what to wear, and where to go on a first date. But what we as a society don’t talk about is the end. No, I don’t mean the whole do…

Being a Woman in the Industry

My Craft Beer Fridge

“As I sit here, crying into my coffee, reading all the stories of sexual harassment in the craft beer industry, I am tired, and exhausted. Sexual harassment has been a part of almost every single career and job I have had in my lifetime, and let me tell you, seeing it in craft beer is gutting me. It really shouldn’t surprise me, being a male dominated industry, but, it does and it hurts. Thank you Brienne @ratmagnet for bringing this to light, and continuing to report on this challenging subject.

On my end, there will be some changes going forward…

And Men, You Can Too!

All Humans Have the Right to Say No to Sex

We can all agree that consent matters. Asking for, and giving consent before engaging in any sexual activity is the gold standard. Sex positive writers, educators, ambassadors, etc. have done an exemplary job of putting information into the world that communicates how, when, and why consent is so important. And this is in large part to the brave people who shared their stories with the #MeToo movement. They started voicing and calling out the dirty underbelly of our society that had gone unheard for so long. #MeToo continues to be a flagship hashtag that sheds light on rape, harassment, and…

And Why Caution Should be Used with the Term

Ethical Non-Monogamy (Photo by E)

When I embarked on my first open relationship, over a decade ago, I had no clue what I was doing or how to navigate it. Nothing about what went on that first year would be considered ethical by anyone’s standards. There was zero foundation in my primary relationship, so every single mistake in the book was made on both of our parts. Lying, cheating, infidelity, hiding things, not knowing how to discuss feelings, breaches of trust, time, and well the list could go on endlessly. In short, everything I hold dear about the meaning of the word ethics was missing…

Asking the Tough Questions

Mismatched Relationships and Your Assumptions (Photo by E)

Relationships are not stagnant. They grow, evolve, and change no matter how desperately we may wish they would remain in the same state of bliss that found you first declaring “I love you”. We can blame temptation, new information, boredom, ourselves or even our partner, on shaking the foundation of what seemed like a loving, balanced partnership. With the introduction of children, new jobs, conversations with friends, and really the list could go on and on you may find yourself, as I have, wondering who that person is in the mirror? And by extension who is the person that you’re…

Spoiler Alert: This is a Myth

Writing About Sex as a Woman

I had a man tell me the other day that “writing about sex is easier for a woman than for a man.” He continued by saying women get a free pass to say whatever they want whereas men are not able to have a voice. Apparently, woman have a unique “privilege that we are not even remotely aware of.” He boasted that he has done years of research on the subject of writing, and that I should just believe him. Oh, did I mention that this guy was using this little dialogue as an introduction to me on an online…

Are We Doomed to Fail Being Raised with Outdated Relationship Models?

Mismatched Relationships (Photo by E)

If you grew up anything like me, you were taught that relationships consist of one man for one woman, until death do you part. Your parents and/or church provided a living model of how relationships worked (or completely failed), and with your young eyes you took the good, bad, and ugly to heart. Using that frame-work you set out to find that mate who shared similar values and interests so you too could have the long-lasting companionship that your role models did. …

Social Distancing and Isolation

Being non-monogamous allows me the freedom to be the sexual being that I never could in monogamy. The ability to flirt, and interact with other sex positive people in my community on a level deeper than just friendship gives my extroverted nature room to blossom. And thus, when I first heard about social distancing, I was frightened, and in truth, a little angry. It was as if, everything that I had worked so hard to achieve, was suddenly taken from me. Yes, I recognize the selfishness of this statement, especially as this pandemic continues to shake our world order in…

The “dirty” stigma around non-monogamy

There is a stigma about people in non-monogamy being “dirtier” than those who are in monogamous relationships. The “dirt” I am referring to, is the perception that this community has a higher prevalence of STI’s. I use the word perception, because that is what non-monogamous people are often up against, rather than facts, science, or anything else. And as a result this is one of the major barriers that people experience when “opening up” both internally and externally. So, let us talk about the risks of contracting a sexual infection in non-monogamy both internally, externally, and more.

Internal Risks

In monogamy, many…

Anxiety in all shapes and sizes

It is no secret that being non-monogamous comes with its own sexual challenges. Whether you are a swinger, polyamorous, or in an open relationship, at some point or another performance anxiety is going to affect you. For me, body image concerns creep up about an hour before I start getting ready to attend a lifestyle party. For some, it may be difficulties getting an erection or even staying hard during a play session. For others it may be difficulties in reaching an orgasm. No matter what gives you anxiety before or during a sexual encounter, know that you are not…

Krys Ghislaine

Krys is a sex positive blogger, writer, and a lover of craft beer.

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